Couples Counselling in Ottawa

Dr. Jan Heney believes that most people have not had good relational role models. Because of this, many of us enter into relationships without the skills necessary to create and/or sustain relational joy. Dr. Heney believes that couple counselling, or marriage counselling, is a vehicle through which people can learn important relational skills, such as complaining rather than criticizing, dealing with conflict in a healthy connected way, cherishing, letting go of the expectation that your partner will “mind read” you, etc. This process brings partners (including same-sex partners) from conflict and distance to mutual respect, understanding, and appreciation. This in turn, enhances the couple’s ability to achieve profound emotional and sexual intimacy.

In some cases, couples come into counselling because one of the partners has had an affair. In these situations, Dr. Heney first helps the couple stabilize and addresses the two questions a betrayed partner often has: “How could you do this to me?” And “How will I be able to trust you again?” The next stage involves helping the couple create a happier, healthier, more intimate relationship which, when achieved, makes the relationship affair-proof. Dr. Heney has helped many couples in this situation reach this end goal.

While Dr. Heney is a strong advocate of repairing damaged relationships, there are times when a couple does not want to invest the emotional energy it takes to rebuild a vibrant, healthy relationship. In these situations, Dr. Heney works with the couple to help them separate in a way that minimizes further emotional damage.